The authors – NZ-born Melanie Roberts-Fraser and her brother Oliver Roberts – said the Government was wrong to be so upbeat in its recent analysis of Paid Parental Leave (PPL). In fact, the report shows how far NZ has to go to meet the standards set by other countries.
The authors say: “PPL was designed to promote equality in families, but the way it’s set up is having the opposite effect. Contrary to the gloss the Government’s put on the report, it’s a pretty damning analysis. I’d say it equates to a 5 out of 10 and ‘must try harder’. The report highlights the difference between what parents want and what PPL delivers, as well as the lack of take-up amongst men and the lack of awareness amongst many employees and employers.
“During our research, we found that the more couples share out the responsibilities of parenthood, the more likely they are to avoid the bitterness and misunderstandings that can lead to relationship breakdowns. The more they share, the more they understand each other – and the more they understand, the better placed they are to enjoy the highs, cope with the lows and even maintain their sex lives.
“About one in five couples now splits by the time their children reach school-age – that shows how important it is to act.
“The Parental Leave and Employment Protection Act was progressive when it came into force in 1987, but since then the country’s fallen behind. To its credit, I think the Government realises it needs to be far more ambitious in helping parents to take leave – the question is whether it’ll have the courage to do so. If we’re going to be the Scandinavia of the South Pacific, we’re going to have to do far, far better. Again, the report admits as much.
“Part of the issue is a lack of awareness about the need for both parents to take time off to bond with their babies and gel as a family. That became clear from our research for No Sex Please We’re Parents, and we’ll aim to feed these findings into the ongoing policy review. There are huge social benefits, of course, but they’re also financial: enabling stronger family units now will lead to fewer costly social problems in years to come.
“In particular, the Government needs to be far more proactive in helping and encouraging mums and dads to take time off after the birth. There’s no shortage of overseas policy to learn from, but at the very minimum the Government should consider:
- Increasing access to PPL from 14 to at least 26 weeks
- PPL provided specifically for men. This could be by allowing a set total for the couple, with a minimum entitlement for the father
- Flexibility to spread PPL out. For example, 5 weeks’ PPL could be taken as a day a week over 25 weeks
- Encouraging best-practice employers to top-up PPL to full or near-full pay
“Parents also need to be made much more aware of their rights to PPL, as well as of the benefits of taking more time off. While some men have been unwilling to take PPL, they’d probably be a lot more keen if they realised it could not only help their relationship survive parenthood, it could directly impact on their sex lives!”
No Sex Please Were Parents gives a unique insight into both the female and male points of view. It is based on extensive interviews with mums and dads and offers practical advice to help parents maintain their relationships. It also gives advice – and warning – on what happens if a couple does split. Melanie Roberts-Fraser is a family-lawyer and academic; Oliver Roberts was a counsellor and award-winning journalist based in New Zealand and is now a UK-based media advisor.
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